British and Irish Lions keep up their losing ways

Another eventful weekend of rugby saw the All Blacks winning a scratchy and frustrating match against Italy, South Africa taking the Lions series in Pretoria and more red faces in the French camp.

The Lions lose by two points in a thriller - and the moaning begins

After the melodramatic and unsuccessful 2005 British and Irish Lions tour of New Zealand went pear shaped for the Lions, the high pitched squeals of Brian O’Driscoll, Clive Woodward and Alistair Campbell complaining as they actively launched a hate campaign on Tana Umanga could be heard throughout the world.

Unfortunately for Woodward and co, the moaning didn’t translate into points on the field in 2005 so it was a good idea when the Lions squad of 2009 decided to keep their complaining about the opposition behind closed dressing room doors for their tour of South Africa.

This all unravelled after the scintillating second test when several incidents off the ball saw a number of Lions players hospitalised (and lest we forget Schalk Burgers’ very obvious eye gouge in front of cameras, touch judges and other team members).

South Africa turned up to play dirty according to the spotless Lions who of course with players like Simon Shaw and O’Driscoll would never do anything collectively underhanded as a spear tackle or eye gouge. Yeah right.

So now that the Lions have lost, the dressing room door has been opened and the insults in the British media are out. While I agree that Schalk Burger should be punished for his offences (and since writing this, has been), the British and Irish media maybe need to take a look in their own back yard before they get all self righteous and start throwing stones.

It is bad when the game is played dirty, but it isn’t just the All Blacks and Springboks who are guilty of those offences. The British and Irish Lions lost and already the moaning has gone up a gear. It looks like sour grapes, as per usual. Haven’t they learnt anything?

All Blacks at new lows

It was a shambolic and frustrating display at Jade Stadium on Saturday night for the All Blacks’ test match against Italy. The Italians managed to restrict the All Blacks to the smallest ever margin and the celebrations were evident in the Azzuri coaching box after the game.

The problem for the All Blacks according to the media is all about the 9 / 10 axis. Personally I think there are a few more rotten apples in the barrel of the New Zealand backline. For a start, where is the attacking potency of yesteryear? It certainly wasn’t on display on Saturday. This is as much to do with Luke McAlister’s error ridden game as it is to do with a lack of intelligence and collective nous.

Poor Mils Muliaina - who was the best back by far on Saturday - cannot be the brains for a backline that had arrogance (yes, trying to run in your own 22 for the majority of the game because you think you’re going to score a 10 try haul against the Italians is arrogant) and stupidity (even when the 10 try haul didn’t look like it was going to happen, they didn’t know how to change their tactics. Duh – dumb).

Why did the backline stand so flat behind the first five eighth? Murray Mexted - love him or hate him - was right. The All Blacks had no go forward and never really looked like getting over the gain line. Instead the fancied themselves doing little flashy moves that came to nothing: running criss cross dummies and executing silly little hospital passes to each other. It was a depressing sight to watch.

Once an attacking team with flair and ingenuity, I fear to say they look more like an English backline now – running backwards and sideways, pointing and yelling idiotically, and no structure or skill. This is not looking good for the Tri nations at all.

The only upside (and I’m clutching at straws here) is that the South Africans under their foot in mouth prone coach Peter De Villiers may not be as strong as they could potentially be. After all, the Lions theoretically were never expected to beat the Boks. But the northern hemisphere side took them pretty close and often played the better rugby.

Also, the Wallabies only managed the one try against France in what was described a ‘turgid’ match on Saturday. Not exactly the roasting that everyone was expecting. Only time will tell I guess

Bastereaud

The New Zealand media is having a field day with plays on Bastereaud’s name and the sentence ‘lying bastard’. All very obvious and unsubtle. The unwitting centre it turns out didn’t get assaulted by any New Zealand thugs but into a scuffle back at his hotel room with his team mate.


Wellington mayor and property developer Kerry Prenderghastly waded into the drama demanding Bastereaud make an apology to the people of Wellington. How very typically parochial of us. I guess the police investigation costs should be covered by the French but it’s become a bit of a non story now and I do kind of feel for the ‘French Nonu’.

He is just a young guy who is (obviously) a bit stupid and panicked. Now his reputation has been tarnished with this story making rugby pages throughout the world. How embarrassing for him and his family. As Graham Henry said, he’s a young guy and all young guys do stupid things from time to time. Unfortunately for him, this one has made worldwide headlines.

All Blacks verse France post mortem

The All Black / France inveco series - although a frustrating affair has been a good barometer of where the All Blacks and New Zealand are set for 2011. Unfortunately the barometer indicates that we’re currently not in a very good position.

Tialata and Rokocoko need to go

Firstly, our lack of depth has been sorely exposed. Although it was hard to lose to France in the first test in Dunedin, the old saying is true that you learn more from your losses than your wins. What can we in the end take from this assorted mish mash of All Blacks who were filling in for the superstars and how do they improve if the superstars don’t find their fitness on time? Firstly, Henry and the selectors need to seriously consider dropping the deadwood from the team that didn’t do much in the super 14 and weren’t too flash in the tests either. That means Tialata and Rokocoko should be replaced until they ‘find their form’.

Favourable stats but no go forward – what’s happened to our backs?

A big worry as far as I was concerned was the lack of potency in the backline which by New Zealand standards is surprising. Whether this was caused by the lack of finesse around Cowan and Donald’s game or whether it was more to do with the sluggish forwards is anyone’s guess. Even though the media rabbited on about the forwards beating the French in the second test, with wonderful performances by Mealamu and Thorne aside, it still didn’t look to me like the French were quivering in their boots when it came to the All Black scrum. More work needs to be done.

Where’s our trophy? Boo hoo hoo.

The anti Henry brigade was given further ammunition when the All Black coach admitted he had not told his team they needed to win the second test by six points to retain the silverware. It was news to me that there was even silverware to be won but really - what saddo cares about some tin pot trophy that no-one even knows the name of anyway? Well obviously, the balding, middle aged red necks of the New Zealand media – that’s who. “Henry’s gaffe was sheer stupidity!” screams the self righteous Jonanthan Millmow from the Dominion Post. As far as I’m concerned there’s only one trophy that we all really want and that hasn’t seen the light of day in NZ since 1987, but that’s a whole other story.

Meathead All Black supporters give the rest a bad name

The embarrassments continued well after the tests for this country when the French team were pelted with rubbish by moronic All Black ‘fans’ at Carisbrook after the first test and the French centre Mathieu Bastareaud was assaulted outside a cab rank by a group of meatheads after the Wellington test on Saturday. It just depresses me so much when I hear about this and I wonder – are this country’s rugby supporters of the zombie ilk? Most are good but the small minority who don’t have two brain cells to rub together and need booze and violence to make them feel like real men are letting the rest of us down. There is a divide in this country – those who like rugby and those who don’t. The reason lots don’t like the game are because of the zombies who boo, jeer and assault. And they’re giving the rest of us a bad name internationally too.

Which leads me onto - the lack of singing in the anthem?

It’s good that everyone’s going on about the fact that the All Blacks look like a pack of stuffed morons when they line up for the anthem and barely move their lips. But they’ve always been like this so I’m surprised people are going on about it now. Their actions typify a section (not all) of New Zealand society who are very repressed, staunch and dour. Basically singing a song to the emotionally retarded = bad as it means you are not very masculine. Doing a haka and getting angry = good however as it means you’re very manly and primal. It’s all macho bullshit as far as I’m concerned but apart from Graham Henry standing on a chair and giving them all a singing lesson I really can’t see what’s going to be done about making them sing. Personally, it would be preferable if they only performed the haka a couple of times a year. Having pride in Maori culture is great but the haka is now overdone and is more posturing pantomime than a spiritual expression of our indigenous culture. And if these All Blacks are so proud of the Maori culture, why is it they won’t sing the words to the Maori verse of the anthem?

Hello, I’m back. It’s been a while since I last posted on here and I have toyed with the idea of closing this blog down. But as per usual and true to form, when test time arrives in the southern hemisphere, I just can’t resist.

I’ve stayed mainly silent on the Super 14 this year because I didn’t watch a heck of a lot. As a Wellingtonian/Taranakian I could tell half way through the season that the Hurricanes would yet again be pipped at the post (why anyone thinks Colin Cooper is a halfway decent coach remains a mystery to me). Along with the rest of the country, I’m tired of Super 14. (And it’s a shame that the NZRFU preferred to stick their heads in the sand and sell their souls to Sky by agreeing to an extended competition for this already tired tournament).

The Bulls deservedly won the Super 14 and if I was a member of the British and Irish Lions, I would be feeling very squeamish about facing the Springboks this weekend, based on that result alone. Of course, the British papers are having none of it and are doing their usual by pumping up the Lions as much as they can. But I think this tournament will be another whitewash along 2005 themes with many a lion going home with his tail between his legs. At least they haven’t got Alistair ‘dodgy dossier’ Campbell there making a general nuisance of himself on the sidelines this time around.

Of course as an All Black supporter, I’m also feeling squeamish about NZ facing the Springboks this year. Particularly if last weekend’s drubbing at the hands of the magnificent French is anything to go by. However, I haven’t slipped into full panic mode yet. The All Blacks were without their superstars and it was the first game of the season. There were some promising moments for a green team. Particularly the way we managed to claw back the score in the second half. In saying that, there’s definitely some flaky flotsam in the team that don’t deserve to be there but with no one in the wings, we’re stuck with them. I’m not one to mention names. (Tialata. Tialata, Tialata).

For once it is great to have a decent French team visit down under and properly challenge us. It makes test week here in Wellington a lot more exciting. I’m picking an All Black win this weekend but it wouldn’t be the end of the world if we lost either. At least no-one could accuse us of peaking between world cups anymore.