Who said what?

No sooner have the All Blacks arrived on British soil and the old cliches are getting dolled out by the British media.  You would think after all these years and all the rubbish written these old hacks would be able to come out with something a bit more original than what I've read in today's papers:


Paul Ackford, The Telegraph: " The All Blacks have pillaged the Pacific Islands for their talent"
ruggerblogger: This is not only wrong and tired, but witless.  How many kiwis are currently playing for England?


Stephen Jones - The Times: "In 2005 the Lions consulted the ubiquitous, even capricious, Maori elders. They were told it would be appropriate for skipper Brian O’Driscoll to accept the challenge by throwing some grass into the air. And what happened? A few minutes after his gesture, O’Driscoll was smashed in an illegal double tackle and was out of the tour."
ruggerblogger: You really need to put this to bed SJ. It was half a decade ago. And maybe refrain from making judgements about Maori culture too, because it appears you don't know much.


Stephen Jones (again): "Opposition for the haka is growing. One recent critic of the haka refers to a “politically correct lunacy” and a “cynical stage-managed circus”. Another calls the haka “a bad joke” and another said the team performing it are like “preening ninnies”.
ruggerblogger: Another cut and paste job from last year's article that SJ wrote, and the year before that too.


Mick Cleary - Telegraph: "Some call it cheating. Richie McCaw has led a charmed existence in that regard. So much of New Zealand's play revolves around his dominance of the breakdown."
ruggerblogger: Yawn.



However, this is my all time favourite. It made me laugh out loud:


Mike Tindall, current English centre: "I was unbeaten by the All Blacks for four years you know."
ruggerblogger: I mean - Tindall - WTF were you thinking say that?!?!? 

All Blacks and England - Twickenham showdown

As the All Blacks go into the final test match against England, the old great haka debate has resurfaced once more. Love it or hate it, the haka is here to stay although it wouldn’t be a trip to the north without people moaning about it.

I agree that some All Blacks take it all a bit too seriously (Nonu – what the heck are you talking about mate – just keep your pretty little thoughts on the rugby ok?) and others just look like they’re at an amateur dramatic panto audition (Ali Williams take a bow).

I personally hope the All Blacks don’t do a haka at Twickenham this weekend at all. In fact, it would please me greatly if they never did another one in England again. Yes, it would be a case of giving the British hacks that decry the haka what they wished for. But I’m sure it would only take a few years for them to start whinging even louder to bring it back.

But enough of this haka malarkey. Let’s get onto the rugby. After England’s hideous defeat against South Africa on Saturday it seems too many people are writing off Dad’s army. I wouldn’t be so hasty. The All Blacks are great ones for getting complacent when they think they’ve got a test sewn up and the English will be licking their wounds hungry to make amends.

If I was a betting women, I’d wager a wee flutter on the English this weekend. Also, England are never easy to beat at Twickenham and with a northern hemisphere ref calling the shots, chances are there’ll be a few yellow cards fluttered around evening the chances for England, especially if McCaw gets binned.

Thanks to nursedude too for sending through this great article from the guardian – they’re onto us indeed ND! You’re only as good as your last game and the beautiful thing about sport and the oval shaped ball is that anything can happen on the day.

Also – on a different note. Rumours are floating around that Carl Hayman is talking about making a return to New Zealand. For all the depleted rugby stocks in New Zealand as former All Blacks plied their trade up North, there have really only ever been two decent All Blacks that we’ve truly missed IMHO – Carl Hayman and Nick Evans. The UK can have the rest (and yes, that even includes McAlister). So it could be good news all round.

The Passionless People

Much has been made during this wonderful month of autumn internationals about the passion of the UK crowds.

The mainstream media in New Zealand seem even more confounded this time around by the vocal northern hemsiphere rugby supporters and to prove it, there's been a flurry of rugby articles written to back this up, marvelling at the 'spontaneous eruptions' of the celt crowds.

The most recent of these naval gazing articles is from Gregor Paul in the NZ Herald. Apparently "Home Nations and France see the expression of their nationalism as almost being more important than the result." Also, Mr Paul believes that "It is the followers of the All Blacks who lack emotional depth and the inability to see a test as more than just 80 minutes of rugby."

Well Mr Paul. Speak for yourself. I think I have quite a lot of emotional depth thank you very much, and I believe All Black supporters and New Zealanders for that matter are no less passionate than any race on this planet. However, there is a simple fact why we do appear so and I'm just surprised that 'esteemed' rugby hacks are pondering this still and wasting column inches of space.

New Zealanders don't sing. It is a sad, horrible fact about this country and as a result we look right uptight for it, especially when we're in direct comparison with an amped Welsh rendition of Bread of Heaven. You just have to watch the All Blacks sing the anthem. You're normally lucky to get a lip movement.

Why don't we sing? I can never work it out as I'm a singer and I know scores of beautiful singers from this country plying their trade in the opera houses of Europe and North America.

I have a theory that New Zealanders have lost the ability to feel confident about singing over the years. I don't know what has caused this but I believe it after being privledged to meet a group of former All Blacks at the New Plymouth test this year where the case was illustrated to me.

I was the anthem singer for that match and Dave Loveridge and co beforehand asked if I would sing the national anthem for them in their dressing room. There was a group of about twenty - baby boomer age and up and after I started the 'god of nations', to my wonderful suprise, they all joined in.

It was wonderful to see these former All Blacks greats singing along with gusto and without self-consciousness. It made me think how today's All Blacks would never join in such a rousing chorus. A spontaneous haka maybe, but can you imagine them singing for the fun of it, in front of other people?

So we've lost our ability to sing when we're sober in this country. But I don't think it means we're less passionate however or that we're emotionally retarded compared to the Irish, Scottish and Welsh.

For whatever reason Mr Paul, we're just quieter, but even still rivers can run just as deep. So please don't label me because it is not our culture to sing out. Label yourself maybe, just leave me out of it.

Gregor Paul's Article

Ps - as a side note there has been the odd All Black in recent times who has gloriously thrown the dour stereotype out the window. Byron Kelleher was so passionate, in haka, anthem and just general demeanour that I remember once he even tore a muscle doing warm-ups. And Richard Kahui is another that doesn't seem to be afraid to sing like there's no-one listening.

Munster All Black Haka

Speaktackles, Pacific Island rugby players and the Haka

Three topics that have provided the British media and British public (well the public that let Stephen Jones do the thinking for them) enough ammo to launch a nuclear attack on Mars. Some interesting things of note this week concerning New Zealand’s 3 mortal sins:

Tana Umaga has spoken out about his steartackle against BOD. And quite funny it is too (not the speartackle - heaven forbid I should say that – but the story concerning the second test following the tackle) so check it out.

With the All Blacks cruising into their pool easily, the usual judgemental sounds have started emanating out over the plight of the ‘poor’ pacific islanders. You know, the usual condescending drivel about the evil NZRFU snatching hapless Samoans and Fijians who can’t think for themselves to train into All Black killing machines yada yada. It is a yawn inducing, ignorant argument so instead of me trying to explain the geographical and political relationship between New Zealand and Samoa, read this for some enlightenment (if you really want to know).

The biggest whinge from the North however is always directed at the Haka. For some hot intellectual debate – check out the BBC message board - where hundreds can vent their spleen at naughty New Zealand. How dare we have a tradition? How dare we have skinny lips and grim, dour faces?!?!? How dare we play rugby better than the mother land?? The haka would be a lot less potent if people took a leaf out of Australia’s book and just had a laugh with it. All I know is when the moan-o-metre rises it means the All blacks must be doing ok. So bring it on. Ka kite.