Current World Rank: 10
Random cliché: They would be so good if it wasn’t for that evil empire New Zealand poaching all their best players
Murray Mexted (esteemed NZ commentator) likely to say of them: "There's nothing that a tight forward likes more than a loosie right up his backside"
Stephen Jones did say of them: England are in the same pool in France 2007. It will be a frightening thought for them that thanks to the Tuilagi seniors back in Samoa, thanks to the pride and passion of Samoan players in the world and Leicestershire, the stirring sight of Alesana Tuilagi on the charge is simply the harbinger of a wider danger
Glamour boy of the team: Well according to Stephen Jones – it is Alesana Tuilagi.
Greatest Moment: Taking England to the wire in the 2003 quarter final. If it wasn’t for Jonny kicking over some metromic drop goals in the dying minutes, England wouldn’t be world cup winners today (or would they?)
Weak link in the team: occasional acts of random violence in the middle of an international test match doesn't often help the team's cause.
Incumbent star: coach and all round rugby great, Michael Jones.
All out star: Brian 'The Chiropractor' Lima making his fifth world cup? Respect